TOWIE: Reincarnated

I was wondering all this whilst having a late night bowel of Frosties because why not?  As I crunch away at my inverted evening meal choice I did one of the two things which most do when in the same position – Read the Frosties box or ponder the Universe.

Silly things like “who are we?”, “what are we?” “how do we all fit together?” “We naturally look out for our own individual self but why do we not instinctively look after our collective selves…? All of us, together?”.

You know, typical sugared flakes stuff.

We all live in the same reality whether we choose to or not.

Our bodies remain in this “here, tangible” and “physical, right now” reality regardless of any choice we can make.  It is up to us to engage our minds to get the most from this reality. From our reality.

This is what makes us different from rocks and trees, from birds and bees.

But, we have people who remove people from our reality who do not want to be removed.  Murderers, liars, World Leaders (I’ve never understood how World Leader could be a plural when you think about it).  These are bad people or victims of their own power?

We have people saving lives every day. Doctors, Teachers, Parents, inspiring viral newsfeed videos.  These people are doing the right thing.

Those people transplant organs and limbs and enrich the experience of lives around them.  They push boundaries and inject hope into situation that is infectious. You’ve all seen the video that moved you.

New technology is coming.  New technology is always coming.

Those people who save lives and generate the ability for others to save are just human too.

We have a limit on the organs and limbs that can be transplanted.

Medical advancements will reduce the number of people from which these organs can be sourced from.

It’s the age-old “If WeightWatchers worked then there wouldn’t be a WeightWatchers.”

Really it’s education.  It’s ethics.  If we did what was right all the time then we would have no need for the police, for armies, for hate.

Can’t criticise the hippies really.  They had all the right ideas but no one trusts someone in DIY tie dyed clothes.  When was the last time time you made any serious decision or transaction with either party being dressed in a tie dyed t-shirt? Exactly.

But many give up their reality to watch the false reality of others; Reality TV.

Reality TV is scripted. It is.  Don’t fool yourself.  Even if it wasn’t scripted (and it is), it is edited.  You aren’t watching anything real. And if it was real, it is heavily filtered.

Lets make it real.  Lets help ourselves us. Lets help science.

Some people watch Reality TV because it is dumb.

Lets not cut out this populus that get enjoyment and let us instead empower them.

Now we can’t change people. Remember, we can’t transplant brains.  We can work with the rest though.

Lets not just help science.  Lets save science! Lets save us; humanity!

This is what I propose:

A new reality TV show that is bigger than just a show.  It actually improves our collective reality, our world.

We put people stupid enough to want to be on a reality TV show and vote them off week by week.

They win a contractual trip to Switzerland where they are euthanised.  They were explained it.  Before the show, with the paperwork. Before the bright lights and disco balls. Before everything was as they dreamt.

We aren’t bad people, the paperwork says they would be happy to be removed from our reality.

Everything usable is used to extend the life of those that are working in the sciences.

We can’t transplant brains.  We wouldn’t want to transplant these brains.

Ethically we aren’t doing anything but removing the least intelligent to enrich the most intelligent to make the world a better place.

“People wouldn’t want to go on that show!” you might say.  This week a self described super fan has just paid his life savings of £5,000 to watch his idol.  Paul Mills-Ash has paid to watch his idol push out a baby in her front room.  To push a baby out in her front room to pay back the NHS bill she incurred when she got some fake tits.  Paul is just one tax payer doing his bit to help reimburse all the other tax payers that feel pissed off that Josie Cunningham  was allowed some boobs on the NHS.  Now that is brave.  Paul is working towards the greater good.  And Paul gets to watch her literally leak her next story live to the world one push at a time; gross. Or brilliant?

Our new show will be no less harsh than what is already out there.  The difference is that we have a purpose.  And we get some good TV out of it I suppose but since when has that been important on the box?!

Do you like the concept? The greater good coming to all simply by the collective working together?

HG Wells liked the idea.
Winston Churchill liked the idea,
Theodore Roosevelt liked the idea
What do you think?

Guess who else liked it?


You’re just like Hitler.

Like Hitler with a TV remote waiting for a premium rate number to dial in some satisfaction.

A premium rate number to dial some skin graphs onto the Doctor that was out on his motorbike late at night.
Dial some kidneys into the guy about to make the break through on the cure for cancer.  Dial in some lungs into the nurse that saved your life after your car accident.
Dial some eyes into the dentist that gave you your smile back and stopped you being afraid of the bullies.

It’s ethical when we put it that way and that’s the only way.

Chin up, join in. Dial a never was into a has been.  Tonight on:

Always ensure you have the bill payer’s permission.
Rates may vary depending on your network provider.
Mobile calls will save substantially more lives.
Dial Now.






The Context:

Now obviously I don’t think this is a genuine solution but here was the thought process along the route.  A better scheme would be to stop grading children in school and instead keep them in school until outstanding grades are obtained.  And remove money from all around the world.  Fiat systems don’t work anyway.

I’ve spent a lot of time recently watching documentaries about a variety of different subjects but mostly about conciseness  and how everything has effects on everything else.

With this in mind, it has given me an exciting hope for the future and its technologies that will be available to us.  There was a film that came out recently called Transcendence about Johnny Depp slowly dying but before his death he was able to upload his mind into a super quantum computer.  With our Terminator brained scientist now able to wonder in the back of his mind about how he can help further the collective research of the world, Johnny Depp embarks on a drive for more resources, for more power.  It’s mental capitalism but for the best…

So they plug him into the internet and Johnny Depp assimilates computers and data farms all around the planet to power his research into medicine and nanotechnology in order for him to rebuild himself into a human form for his wife.  Wives statistically prefer their husbands in human form no matter how much Twilight fan fiction you might read.  It’s Jacob in human form that makes them damp.

There are a load of other subplots and twists but I don’t want to ruin the movie for you… Other than Johnny Depp dies but it is in the first few minutes and key to the whole film otherwise it would just be a scientist not completing any of the promises that the trailer made.

I wouldn’t be put off by the reviews either that Jonny Depp plays a bit of a “flat character”.  He plays a CGI graphic on a screen for science’s sake!

Right so with our collective knowledge that movies are catching up to what science has already started; that humans will become a combination of organic and non-organic matter.  This could be seen as thinking blobs attached to non thinking accessories.  I’m not denying the great that could come of this.  Those that have been in horrific accidents could not only walk again or hold hands with loved ones but could play skilful sports or musical instruments.  Technology would allow those non thinking accessories to pass sensory input to the attached thinking organic blobs that are our brains.  Limbs that were lost could be felt with. We are allowing people to reconnect with sensations that they thought were lost for ever.

This technology will enable us to provide those that have not had senses from birth to experience them for the first time.  We have seen videos that move any human of those hearing for the first time and work is well under way to enable people to see for the first time too! So that is sight and sound but what about the other senses?  The same way that your wireless Xbox controller needs a complimentary unit within the actual console it will be the nanotechnology that interfaces with our brains that allows our new non thinking accessories to operate seamlessly.

Nanotechnology will help us interact with the reality around us then but only when it becomes a reality in its self for everyone to utilise. So what do we have now that people can use to further their life?

A major breakthrough that we take for granted has been that of transplantation. Within the last decade we have been able to move from organ transplants to that of whole hands and even faces.  Medicine and transplant techniques will continue to grow but we do have a collective barrier that transplanting a brain wouldn’t be something that should be given too much time, money or research.  Which you may think is a shame but really it just lets us enable the greatest reality evolution to coincide the new epoch we are embarking upon.

As time passes, everything begins to evolve.

Reality: the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

Our reality is evolving.  We build our paradigm of reality from our own experiences but also from the stories and tales we hear from others.  You learn a lot down the pub without realising.  After seeing Bill the other week, I know now never to go on holiday with Bill or you’ll wake up with a banterific poop on your pillow.  Or to go on holiday with Tom or you’ll get a French styled, tequila laced golden shower. John though, his holidays consist of spraying models with champagne spraying in between choosing restaurant lunches.  I’d go on holiday with John.

Some though build their reality from MTV and its reality TV inspiration has cemented their crude format that takes these steps:

  2. intercut / remind people of the name of the show.
  4. Repeat until a record is released or Credits Roll.  Which ever is sooner.

But here in the UK we have shit like this:

Reality TV is an oxymoron anyway.  It is scripted – all be it loosely but as they would say “leave it out mate, they can’t read too much at once”.  So it is scripted reality. It isn’t reality.

Big Brother isn’t reality, it is a closed system with everyone else being spies.  A reality TV show has to be self aware and have a direct effect on the reality in which it inhabits.  Every man made tangible idea has a purpose.  Even those machines described as useless. Their purpose is to exist to question the very point of their conception.  They are physical trolls.

Could we not combine what the majority watch on TV into a format that benefits reality?

Some people watch reality TV just for how stupid its cast are.  Grammar schools perform better because they start with a selection process.  I’m not sure if this is too close to eugenics.

H G Wells was a supporter of eugenics but then so was Hitler and I’m not sure if “post-birth” eugenics in this context is anything other than X-Factor style mass murdering.

I’m not sure if it matters if people wanting fame that are explained exactly what euthanasia is and still sign are worthy of contaminating our gene pool. Brains can not be transplanted so this would mean the number of people interested in being cast should dramatically reduce.

And then this week we have Jose Cunningham who has skipped the whole talent and fame part of Celebrity, dipping straight into the downward spiral world.  Why do people do this to themselves?  Who is worse? The “Celebrity” of the fans?

Education through emulation would cause death.  Death that then enables a continuation and improvement of life.  It is almost martyrdom.  It is scary.

I’ve had an idea.

So lets make reality tv real.

I present to you: The Only Way is Ethical.

It is at this point that I decided that a basic bulletpoint run through was better than the in-depth look at the absurd concept of killing people on a TV show to improve the lives of those voting for more people to die would work better.



“The Only Way is Ethical” artwork by Ashley Garrard

What do you think?

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